Korey Atterberry’s Idle Chatter

This week I’m traveling on business to the lovely state of Alabama to do some testing of our software in the field. Right now it’s almost 10pm, and I’m going to bed soon, having been awake for the last 40 hours, not counting a 45 minute nap. Let’s just say, the travel didn’t go as planned.

The original plan was to fly out of Peoria at 4pm into Atlanta then catch a connecting flight to Birmingham after a reasonable 1.5 hour layover. My traveling companion and I left Peoria without incident but when we got to Atlanta they weren’t landing any planes there due to the weather. We entered a holding pattern for about 45 minutes or so and had to divert to Huntsville, AL when we ran low on fuel. We stopped in Huntsville and they fueled us up but we didn’t go to a terminal. No big deal- I’m sure we’ll be moving on soon…

After 5 and a half hours of sitting in the plane on the ground in Huntsville, they cleared us to fly to Atlanta, a very quick flight. We were assured that all other flights into and out of Atlanta were experiencing the same delays. We went directly to catch our connecting flight and found that we’d missed it by 5 minutes… It’s now after 11pm. We made some calls and got in a VERY long line at our airline’s counter to see what we could do. At around 1am, the emergency lights started flashing and a muffled announcement came over the intercom about the weather. No one left the line. At 2am they came out and said all the hotels in Atlanta were full, and they switched from handing out hotel vouchers to handing out pillows.

Finally, around 3am we reached the beginning on the line and learned that we could fly to Birmingham at 11am the next day. Between the fact that we were scheduled to start work at 8am and our unwillingness to sleep on a tile floor, we asked the ticket agent to cancel our flight to Birmingham but keep our return flight.

We rented a car and took off, arriving at our hotel in Birmingham at about 6am. Mercifully, we weren’t expected anywhere until 8am so we went to our rooms for a quick nap. At 8am we did the work we came to do, dressed in the clothes we’d worn the day before (our bags would be taking the next flight…) After work we ran to the airport to get our bags and trade in our rental car for the originally scheduled contract.

The worst part is that we needed to end up in Decatur, a mere 25 miles from Huntville, where we sat on the plane for so long without the possiblity of escape. The second worst part is that we spent 14 hours traveling via airline when we could have driven the whole thing in 9 hours…

Thankfully, today went just fine and everything worked out well. We’re tired, but our host took it easy on us, and we’ll get caught up on rest tonight!

Tonight at 7pm, right after we got home, there was a knock on the door. It was the girl from across the street, whom we hadn’t really met before, asking to use the phone. She’d gone out to walk the dog she was taking care of and discovered her apartment door wouldn’t open with her key. Her cellphone was in the apartment, the landlord was out of the state, it was sprinkling and she was 9 months pregnant.

After she got off the phone with her boyfriend, I went across the street to try to open the door. I messed with the key for a few minutes before deciding that wasn’t helping. The key tumbler turned and the knob turned but the bolt didn’t retract. Thankfully they’d left their front window unlocked so I was able to remove the screen and climb in. I disassembled the lock from the inside, but the bolt still wouldn’t retract, so we decided the best idea was to take the door off of its hinges. The hinges were pretty well corroded, but with a little “finesse” the pins came out, but I couldn’t remove the door from the hinges from the inside. So, my bright idea was to climb back outside and hit the door until the hinges detached. It took quite a bit of force on the bottom hinges, so when I moved on to the top hinge, my strike quickly dislodged the door and sent it tumbling inside. Momentarily forgetting all my high school physics and geometry, I figured I could help the situation by trying to grab the door. That’s where the door-surfing occurred.

Thankfully no possessions or body parts were damaged, and access to the apartment was now achieved. We put the door (sans latch) back onto the hinges and decided that was good enough for now. The good news is that it’s nearly impossible to get locked out by a door with no latch…

Yesterday we were around town and decided to test drive a full-size truck, just to see what it was like. Our salesperson was a young lady who’d only been on the job a couple of weeks. She came out to meet us in the lot and let us take one for a spin by ourselves.

We left the parking lot, drove about two blocks and turned onto a busy road. As I came out of the corner, I gave it a little gas and the engine began to sputter. Looking at the gas gauge, my suspicions were confirmed. We turned into the next parking lot and the engine sputtered to a stop as we were coasting into a spot out of the way.

We called the dealership and our salesperson came to rescue us with a shop employee and a gas can. They were apologetic, but we thought it was an interesting adventure! Thankfully we were able to coast off the road, since there were no shoulders on that road, and pushing a vehicle that size probably wasn’t going to work very well! For the record, we hadn’t even gotten to the nearest gas station when we ran out of gas, so someone was going to have problems in any case!

For those of you outside the midwest, last night a winter storm came through and dumped ice then snow on us. Though the conditioned varied depending on where you were, we have about 12-16 inches of snow here.

When I got up this morning, it was still snowing and blowing pretty hard. I got phone calls from a few coworkers suggesting I not come in, and my brother called and said he’d made about 4 miles of progress in an hour in his jeep. That’s good enough for me! By the way, if any coworkers read this and don’t approve, just charge me a vacation day- I still have plenty

Around 9:30 the snow let up so I decided to venture out to see what the roads were like. I hadn’t really had the new truck out in the snow, so I figured this was a pretty good chance. First off, they hadn’t (and still haven’t) plowed the roads in our subdivision, so I had to plow through some pretty deep snow. Since I wasn’t having too much trouble I decided to head to the Walmart to pick up a few things we needed.

When I left Walmart, I decided to head home a different way. None of the roads anywhere had been plowed, but this way hadn’t had many vehicles come through. Right away I came across a young couple in a Cavalier with hopelessly bald tires stuck in the drift on the right side of the road. Ah, the first challenge of the day! I tried to push them and dig them out by hand, but we weren’t getting anywhere. I turned my truck around and hooked up a tow strap (it’s hard to find a spot of today’s unibody cars) and without too much trouble get them back onto the road. After unhooking, they started forward again, and even though the driver did everything right, the car slide right back where they were. After some failed attempts at pushing and some deliberation, I offered them the choice of a ride home or something a little more adventurous. They chose adventure. I hooked the strap back up, instructed the driver and proceeded to slowly tow the car backwards in neutral about a half mile to a point where the roads were passable. We pulled that off without incident and parted ways.

As I was looping back around I saw a guy in a Grand Am stuck right in the middle of the intersection of the highway in front of Walmart. He was cussing loudly into his phone, so I pulled up and asked if he needed help. Turns out this guy not only got stuck but locked his keys in the car as well. Nothing I could do for him, but he wasn’t very gracious anyway.

About a half mile past where I encountered the stranded Cavalier, I came across an older guy who had run his Trailblazer off the side of the off ramp. He was busily calling every tow company in the phone book but no one was promising anything. I asked him if he wanted to try pulling it out and he jumped at the chance. So, drove up the road a ways and turned around so I was facing the other way (note to self: get front tow hooks). We hooked up but we just couldn’t budge the thing. Way too heavy and way to stuck for my little truck. Admitting defeat, he accepted a ride and I took him to the McDonald’s up the road where he wanted to wait for the tow truck.

In the parking lot of the McDonald’s I had my first easy encounter of the day. Three guys were trying to get an Accord unstuck. Thankfully I had a shovel in the back, so after a little digging and a bit of pushing he was on his way.

When I got back into my neighborhood and about a block from my house, I had to stop for a couple of guys desparately trying to obey the parking ban by moving their car out of the road. They were stuck about half in an half out of the road and had been trying to shovel a spot for quite some time. A few of the neighbors pitched in and were were able to get the car back fully onto the road and shoveled for a little bit. Realizing how long it was going to take us to move that much snow, we decided the better plan was just to flatten the snow by running it over with my truck. That worked like a charm and saved a couple of hernias.

When I got home, I started shoveling the driveway. Before too long I noticed that snow was drifted up against the doors of the neighbors across the street so I went over and did a quick job of clearing the snow from immediately in front of the doors. About that time a car pulled into my driveway. They were there to help dig out one of the guys in the apartments. Together we dug and pushed his little 2WD S10 out to the road. Unfortunately, he thought it’d be a good idea to head down the road and look for a place to turn around. He got stuck in the middle of the intersection a block away so we took my truck and some shovels down to him. I pulled him back out of the deep stuff he’d gotten into and we got him turned around. Without too much trouble he got back to the entrance of his parking lot.

Meanwhile, his helper, driving another Cavalier, had backed out of my driveway and gotten pretty well stuck in the road. We all dug and pushed for quite a while, but she was pretty well high centered in the deep stuff. Now having experience in extracting Cavaliers, we hooked her up with a strap and got her pulled back into the shallows. A couple of pushings later, both of them were on their way to plowed roads.

Not having made a lot of progress on the driveway, I headed inside to have lunch, since Evan had woken up from his nap. Afterwards I headed outside to finish the driveway. When I’d about finished, my neighbor and her son had the good fortune of a guy on a small tractor plowing their driveway for them. They’d been shoveling quite some time to get their Camry out of the road and into the driveway. I went over and helped finish digging out from underneath the car, which was so grounded out that one of the wheels wasn’t touching the ground With the help of a couple of neighbors we got the car pushed into the clear of the driveway. With that I headed inside to warm up and put on my third pair of pants of the day.

Around dinner time, Dusty was feeling a bit of cabin fever and the plows had cleared most of the main roads, so we decided to head out to see what things were like an find a bite to eat. Only two places were open. When we returned home, I pulled into the deep snow so Dusty could reach out the window to get the mail. The mail hadn’t come. I’d always heard “the mail most go through!” Guess that’s a myth, not that I blame them.

I had to go around the block to get turned around, so I headed up this loop road. It was deep and hadn’t been plowed, but I’d been through stuff like that earlier in the day and knew it wouldn’t be too much of a problem. Well, not for US anyway. Near the top of the hill we came across a family in a Trailblazer who were having trouble making it the last half block to their house. I hopped out and helped dig a little bit and before too long they were able to make some progress. Unfortunately, the wife turned a little too sharp making the left turn before their house and got into the deep uncharted territory. We got out again and helped dig and push, but they had a lot of snow packed underneath of them – those Trailblazers apparently don’t have very good ground clearance, especially that spare tire hanging down under the back of the vehicle. Fortunately they had some front tow hooks and suggested I try pulling them. I pulled off into the deep snow and went around the front of them. Once again, however, Cavaliers posed little challenge while Trailblazers proved too heavy. We did manage to get them dug out and into their driveway, though it took a while longer.

Today was fun. It was fun to mess around in the snow and it felt good to be able to help a few people in need. I’m also very proud of how my truck handles the snow. Even snow up the to bumper didn’t cause any real trouble, despite the very non-aggressive OEM all-season tires. I’m also thinking this might be my longest post ever, but then again, it was a pretty long day.

Dusty’s parents came up to visit today, so we took Evan out to Tanner’s Orchard. Evan had a great time running around the playground, riding a pony, and helping us pick out a pumpkin.

They have U-pick pumpkins there, and it’s $5 for any pumpkin in the field. You take a wagon ride out into the field and head out from there. We wandered a few hundred yards and found a spot where they must dump their toxic waste. Casting all practicality aside, I focused on how much pumpkin I could get for my money.

My father-in-law and I ended up mostly rolling it back to the wagon and to the van. Upon returning home, we put it in the scale: 105lbs! I don’t know what we’re going to do with it, but this is America, and more is better!

This morning Dusty and Evan planned to run some errands and visit a couple of yard sales. At around 10am, she called me at work and said she had a flat tire. She was about 10 miles away northwest of town. Though I’m sure she could have managed herself, I left work to help.

When I got there, we moved the spoils of her shopping spree into my truck, got to the spare, and changed the tire. Unfortunately, it wasn’t just a small nail hole that caused the flat, but rather an irreparable 3 inch gash in the tread of the tire. I gave Dusty my truck so she could finish her errands and I took her car, complete with the fashionable bright yellow temporary spare. We grabbed some quick lunch and went our separate ways.

When I was just about back to work, my phone rang. Dusty was stranded again. This time out of gas. That’s my fault, really, since I had intended to put gas in the truck on the way home from work. My little unplanned rescue mission apparently left her about 4 miles of gas I turned around, stopped at a gas station, bought a gas can, and took her a couple of gallons. To the best of my memory, that’s the first time since high school that my vehicle has run out of gas…

There’s good news and bad news to the way things turned out. On the down side, I’m out $180 for a new tire (thanks to Mazda’s “zoom zoom!” factor). Thankfully, though, the truck ran out of gas when it did. We would have been in much bigger trouble had I run out of gas before meeting her to change the tire… It’s still a bit amusing that despite our tendency to keep new, reliable vehicles, my wife gets stranded with car trouble… twice… in one hour… in two different vehicles…

Over this weekend we planted two new trees in our back yard. One is an 8ft maple and the other is a 10ft ash. Of course, it’ll be years before we have enough shade to place two lawn chairs under, but you’ve gotta start somewhere. Two small trees in the backyard beats zero.

It was an adventure getting the trees in the ground. Each tree’s rootball weighed about 250lbs by my guess. Thankfully my sister, brother and sister-in-law-to-be were able to drop by to help. Deciding that the wheelbarrow method of transportation was going to be a death sentence, we ended up having to pull the truck and trailer into the back yard, cutting some nice ruts in the yard.

That was the part that went well. Buying the trees was another story… Warning: a long poorly-written story follows. The upside is that you can laugh at me.

On Saturday we hitched up the little 8ft utility trailer and headed out to run a few errands and shop for trees. After a couple of stops it was time for lunch, so we dropped by Jimmy John’s. This parking lot was not conducive to parking a trailer, so I backed the trailer into the corner, unhitched, and parked the truck next to it. Parking spaces occupied: one. Since this trailer is very light, it’s also very easy to run off with, so I got out the short length of chain I keep in my toolbox and ran it betwen the trailer and the leaf spring on my truck. As I fastened the lock, I said outloud, “Boy, I hope I have the –click– key…” It was too late- I’d already issued the orders to my hands to lock. When I traded trucks a couple of months ago, I took everything out, and I hadn’t gotten around to putting all the essentials back into the new truck, including of course the small keyring holding the trailer keys. Fantastic. Now I have the trailer locked to the SIDE of the truck, leaving the truck undrivable. Good plan.

We go inside to get a bite to eat while I ponder my options. I give my sister a call, and she happens to be near by. She comes and takes us back to the house to get the keys to the trailer. On the way back, we stop for ice cream as a “let’s make today go better than it has been so far” treat. Problem solved, and we’re on our way again.

We finally end up at a local nursery where the trees are on sale, so we make our selection. I was talking with the sales person when my wife noticed the employees beginning to load the trees. I hustle over to help/supervise, and the guy tells me he had a problem with the trailer. Apparently, when he stepped on the back of the trailer, the coupler came off the ball! Even though the coupler latches on its own, I normally put a lock on it as well for extra safety. Today I didn’t (refer to the above story about my luck with locks on that day…) I theorize it jostled loose on the drive without that lock. Thankfully no one got hurt and thanks to the safety chains no major damage was done, not to mention being fortunate that it didn’t come uncoupled while driving. It did pull apart my trailer wiring, but I had just installed a disconnect on the trailer itself a few months ago so it came apart there. Somewhere during the day, I later noticed, my tailgate handle got temporarily misaligned. Either myself or one of my helpers leaned against it, or that tongue made a one in a million shot hitting the only part of the back of the truck that could take a punch without damage. I’ve hauled lots of stuff in my trucks, and thanks to my Line-X bedliner and being careful I’ve never had even a scratch, though that little episode cut things a little close…

So, they load the trees on the BACK of the trailer, and in case you’re not aware, a good rule of thumb to have 10-15% of the weight of the loaded trailer on the tongue. Putting 500lbs of trees on the back of a small trailer yields about negative 50% tongue weight, so reloading was required. Next they take my ratchet strap and begin to cinch the trunks of the trees against the back of the trailer (which would result in breaking the branches, scraping the bark, and pulling the rootball around by the trunk of the tree, not to mention that the ratchet strap would come loose on the first bump). I politely inform them that that wasn’t a good idea and suggest that I can take over.

Next we need some compost. Two 40lb bags will run me about $9. You can also buy it in bulk, so I elect to purchase 1/4 yard (about 500-600lbs) for the same price (more is better, right?). Since my new truck only has a 5ft bed, I asked the guy how wide the bucket on the loader was. He replies that “it’ll be fine” which I interpret to mean that it’s either narrow enough or he’s got some plan. He did in fact have a plan, but it was to dump most of the bucket into the truck while letting the remainder fall onto my bumper and hitch. I began to wave him off but he didn’t stop. It was only dirt and… let’s just say “organic material”… not rock, so it wasn’t really going to hurt anything. I’ve had bulk materials loaded in my trucks probably at least a dozen times and have always been impressed by the skill and careful nature of the operators, until this time. I’ve since come up with a device that allows safe loading of a 5ft bed with a 6ft bucket.

In the end, the trees are planted, the yard is fixed, my equipment is unharmed, and my truck had a nice bath (to make up for its manure shower). Thankfully I had a little luck on my side to make up for my (hopefully rare) lapses in judgement.

Oh yeah, on the drive home, I looked at my regular keyring, and what do I see? The spare key to my trailer lock…